My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I will be naked everywhere
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
