i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
