And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
