Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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