So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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