chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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