dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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