So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
