Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
