First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
