Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
