No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
