i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
