legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
