Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
