is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
