We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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