I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
