I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
