I don't think brook has ever known best
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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