Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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