I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
