with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
