Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
