I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
honey bunches of taint.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
