Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
