I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
