your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
