so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
