I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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