Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
