He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
