if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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