kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
