two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
