So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
