Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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