Sry I called you an 8
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
