Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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