life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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