Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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