I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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