4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
