Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
