don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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