put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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