Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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