So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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