I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
