so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
